I had been friends with this sailor, I’ll call him “N” for a few months now. N had told me he had feelings for me a few weeks before this incident and I expressed how I didn’t feel the same and wanted to continue a friendship, which he agreed to. Fast forward to December of 2019, maybe two months after this interaction, and I started dating my current boyfriend. We had just gotten back from a command holiday party and went to a mutual friends to hang out. “N” was already there and heavily intoxicated. When I told a friend at the party I was dating my guy, “N” got noticeably agitated to the point, our mutual friend suggested we leave so he could calm him down. I walked my boyfriend home, he was drunk where I wasn’t, and went to my barracks across the road. When I arrived, my phone started blowing up from “N” saying I shouldn’t have had my arm around my boyfriend and I should’ve acted better knowing N was there. I shut the conversation down and said I didn’t want to talk to him while he was drunk. N suddenly started to tell me he was having a panic attack and was going to his home which was below my floor, he asked if I would help him. When he showed up, he seemed more drunk than before and asked me to come inside to talk. When he shut the door he started yelling and telling me I need to tell him where I go and who I’m with. I said I wasn’t his property and he was acting crazy. I told him we(N and I) are just friends and I’ll speak to him when he isn’t drunk about whatever his issue is. When I tried to leave he got in front of the door and took a step towards me. I backed away and told him not to touch me when he tried. N has a foot and a half over me as well as 160 pounds. For seven hours, he stood between me and the exit, drunk and yelling until he passed out. Any time I tried to move he either took a step towards me, or blocked the door. My phone had died and I had shut down mentally. I barely remember the 7 hours, just a lot of yelling and me backing up. When I left, I didn’t really understand the gravity of what happened. After this occurred, N texted me asking why I was upset with him. I explained I didn’t want to be around him anymore and didn’t feel comfortable because he locked me in a room and he said “oh, why didn’t you tell me that upset you?” N would attempt to fake panic attacks to try and get me to come out of my barracks after this and wait for me outside my car frequently. I started having my boyfriend walk me from my door to the parking lot. This event also unlocked a SA memory that had occurred a few months prior I had blocked out with N and took me weeks to realize it was an assault.
Within a few weeks of this, I spoke to my LPO about what happened but explained to her I didn’t want to file a report. I said I didn’t want to do anything with it but he had mentioned wanting to transfer into my section, so I asked her to make sure he didn’t. During this time, I started drinking more often and was having nightmares. I ended up being hit with an NJP due to breaking curfew during the beginning stages of lockdown. i took full responsibility for it, I was stupid and sad but as part of my punishment my LPO said I didn’t deserve off days with my boyfriend(he was my sister section) and so she moved me into N’s section. I begged her not to, begged to be moved to anyone else’s section even if I couldn’t have the same schedule as my boyfriend, just begged her not to make me work with him. She told me I would grow as a person from this experience. When I started in N’s section, I had a breakdown every day before shift. He told everyone we had sex when we had no romantic interactions and I led him on. I had people coming up to me and telling me what he said about me and how he was constantly talking about me in their work chat. He was staring at me whenever we were in the same room and I felt like I couldn’t breathe every day at work. I never told anyone what he did, so his entire section believed him and treated me like shit.
Four months later, a party happened and this girl he was seeing heard a rumor about me. She was piss drunk and called her watchcommander sobbing about me. This rumor was completely exaggerated and she reported it as a SAPR case. My Investigation opened up and I was moved back into my original section. After providing interviews and screenshots of him admitting what he did, as well as, messages insinuating suicide from him, they dropped it from legal to command level. The command was worried about his mental health and dropped it to department level where i was informed after requesting information, not being kept in the loop at all, that he “may get a counseling chit.” As of today, he got nothing for what he did to me. They completely swept it away, even with the evidence. The girl who reported it initially has caused more rumors and anytime I have to relieve her section, rolls her eyes or makes small remarks by me. She believed him, like everyone else. I can’t see him without breaking down. I can’t be in a closed room if only one other person is in now and small spaces cause me anxiety. I wake up from nightmares and currently am attending therapy. I requested a IG, which was shut down within three days. I requested a FOIA and they informed me my case wasn’t in cleoc and they will email me whenever the records make it to their headquarters. This has been the worst experience of my life and is the reason I have decided to get out of the military. I never thought “his mental health“ the man who caused the deterioration of mine, would take priority. I have screenshots I considered posting but I am still AD and don’t want anymore problems regarding him and I’m not sure if I can post them here. I know this story was long and messy, there’s so much more to it but it just is confusing and hard to get through. Knowing there’s a forum like this helps. Thank you for reading all of this and thank you for making me feel less alone.